Does Love Really Happens, The Way it is told !

LOVE is a four letter word, but discussions on it occupy significant time among us. But is love so easy to happen? Does it really carry its meaning whenever it is uttered?

We talk about Love among relations like mother-daughter-son, siblings etc. Here I want you to read further keeping in mind the love which is talked between couples, among the teens and among matured boys and girls.

I am not an expert in this subject and if any of the mentioned point hurts you, I am sorry for that but facts cannot be denied or cannot be always kept under blanket. Many times it becomes hard to digest the words like Love marriage; I am in love, love at 1^st sight etc.

The questions which pulls for different thoughts:

•       Why people fall in love only with good looking and beautiful girls. A highly talented, intelligent and qualified girl never becomes topic of discussion among the youth if she lacks good look. (Sania Mirza appears in Computer Wallpaper’s, Wall Calendars, posters etc but pics of  P.T Usha is rarely found).
•  -    How can a person fall in love with someone at first sight? This can only be lust and attractions. Attractions towards look, personality etc.
•            People say that trend of love marriage is on increase and arrange marriage is on decline. When this is looked closely, here the only difference is that in arranged marriage the partners are selected by parents and the final decision is left on their son or  daughter but in other case the individual only select their partners and parents is left with only decision to approve them. Before going further I want to take you in one of the scene of the movie 3 idiots (assuming everyone has watched this movie) where Aamir Khan tells karina kapoor “Your fiancé is a man of profit and loss. He did B.Tech and then MBA and now working in banking sector. If he were to work in Bank, then for what he did B.Tech. He does not love you; he wants to marry you because he sees profit in you in becoming his life partner”. Aamir proves by hiding the costly gifted watch and telling her fiancé that she lost the watch”. Likewise individuals select their partners based on their suitability, attitudes, look, personality, similarity in each other, likelihood of surviving with each other, likes, dislikes etc. But this is termed as love marriage though this is also arranged but in other way. Even when the partners are selected through matrimonial sites, then also it is named as love marriage. I do not understand what people want to show off by calling self arranged marriage as Love marriage.

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If you deny the above facts, then again I would like to pose few questions:

1. How many matured, highly educated boy will chose an illiterate lady as his life partner with so called love marriage..?
2. How many urban girls with good salary will chose a village farmer boy as life partner and will go for love marriage…?
3. Ask from a good looking girl the numbers of Love and marriage proposals she would have got starting from school, college to work life and compare this who lacks physical beauty. Once I dared to ask and the reply was that she does not remember the count. She does not even remember the faces.

There is a general attitude that people tries to cover up even the wrong acts with positive and good words. Once I was watching a debate on the News Channel on the topic “Living in Relationship”. The Person against the motion said that girls are courted and are treated as modern keep in such type of relationship and ultimately the girl becomes the sufferer. Immediately the persons who were in support pounced on him, saying the word ‘modern keep’ degrades the womanhood. The person against the motion asked what to say then. The reply was she should be said as Living partner or Love Bird.

Likewise people cover up their lust, attraction, attachment and likings with love.

 Now you may be thinking that I am against Love and as per me Love is a fabricated word and in reality it does not exist. If you are really thinking so then you are wrong.

Love is not an instant effect. It grows and grows with time with the components like loyalty, devotion, responsibility, human emotions, attitude, humbleness, modesty, and respect for each other, self respect and feelings for each other.

Once in my village, I saw an old couple where the husband was seriously ill and the talk among people was that he was near to death. His son was taking care of him and his old wife was sitting in front of him. She was silent and not uttering any word. The wife was not moving from her position though her son asked two to three times to have some food and take rest.  The old lady was not having the energy to cry and say anything. I am sure I was not mistaken to see a titanic love between them. The love, whose foundation stone, was laid probably some 50 years ago.  They would have shared good and bad moments together. I do not know actually what was going in her mind. May be she was praying to God silently and asking her God “Why are you separating us? Why do not you take my life first instead of him? Where will I go and what will be my life without him? She was silent but she was crying. She was not boasting and loudly saying “I Love you..I Love you” but the tremendous love between them was very much visible.

Can anyone compare this trustful, deep and devotional Love with the love at first sight or the casually spoken love marriage?

When marriage happens, partners are selected based on their likes, dislikes, family background, educational qualifications etc. Initially there is no love between them and they start to know each other. They live together, share the happiness and sorrows and the seed of love sprouts between them. With time it grows from sprout and keeps on growing with strong and deep root as its base.

It’s not only the time spent together which favours the growth of love. It also requires humanity, loyalty, commitment, dedication, emotion and humbleness. If the individuals are not emotional, then there is very rare chance for the Love to blossom. After marriage, the initial days are mainly occupied with lust and attractions but as its human behavior that individuals get fed up with anything they repeatedly use and see. If the lustful desire is not immediately replaced with friendship and commitment towards each other then the relationship will just be heavy burden throughout the remaining life.

       If there is no emotion or commitment, then if the beautiful body is deformed suddenly, the relationship would not be the same. So, humanity, inner attachment and sacred feeling for others are equally required for the love to grow towards infinity. In western countries it is seen that people fall in love, get married, stay together for some time and then again they will move for some other partners. In rare case the first marriage lasts forever. In India due to the family and social obligations, the relationships move even when the partners get discomfort with each other. Many times obligations give the chance and it avoids breaking up of the relationship on small issues or disagreements.

Yes, the love exists and it’s only the love which moves the world. But it should not be mistaken with the self arranged marriage, friendship with opposite sex, lust and attraction for good look and physical personality. When the seed of love sprouts, it branches into responsibility, loyalty, inner bond, sacrifice and many more. Again, Love is not an excitement. It does not boast and it’s not proud.  Love never fades nor wanes. It always remains young in heart.