Mamta was asked to call up her parents and tell them that they should send her Rs 20,000 as was promised earlier. The villagers said that since this demand was not met, her sister-in-law, husband, father-in-law, mother-in-law and two brothers-in-law gathered and harassed her throughout the night and in the early hours of next day; they allegedly tied her to a nearby tree and set her on fire. (http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-11-20/nagpur/30421508_1_villagers-goregaon-tehsil-sadak-arjuni)
Kalpana (26), hanged herself to death in her flat. A double graduate with a bright future was driven to the extreme step after persistent harassment by her husband.Even though the couple had been married for two years, the husband agreed to keep Kalpana in his house in Bangalore only when the family agreed to pay the money as was agreed earlier. (http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/article2844350.ece)
These stories are not from any movie or TV Serial but a real incident and such atrocious incidents are increasing in our Indian society with the end results of bride burning, mental tortures, physical violence and suicide. The cause is one of the accepted evil of our society called Dowry System.
If we go in to the history of this system, it started when the bride’s family used to give their daughter a part of land or other gift items at the time of her marriage as the daughter was not considered inheritor of parent’s property. With time the greed of individuals enlarged and now the boy’s family select only such type of family who along with his daughter can give large sum of cash, gold, clothes, vehicles or any other consumer durables. Earlier it was due to the affection of the parents towards their daughter but today it has taken the shape of such an evil spirit that this is directly demanded from the boy’s side and has become a big liability to the parents of all daughters where the planning starts right from the time when a daughter is born.
It should be very clear that this system is prevailing not due to the unemployment or illiteracy of the society. This is flourishing very well in almost every part of the society. They may be Engineers, Doctors, Lawyers, IAS, Managers or any respectable profession we can think of. There are strict laws against the dowry but like corruption this has also become an integral part of Indian society. Everyone knows and everyone discusses openly. On mutual agreement the law against the dowry is violated by everyone and everywhere.
The big and perplex question is can our Indian society ever be free from this evil. Could this ever go into one of the dark and grave histories of India like Child Marriage or Sati Pratha. If yes, then who can and from where it can start. It is said that education is the solution of almost all the ills of the society. But in this case education is of not that much use because more education and good job means eligibility for more and more dowry.
Before going further let’s see how this system impacts the individual’s life and retards the growth of women in India.
The existence of dowry system creates a sense of economic fear among the parents of girl child. If it is the story of middle class then they prefer to have only basic higher education for their daughter and save the money so that with the saved money they can get excellent earning and qualified partner for their daughter’s marriage. Some sensitive parents listen to their daughter’s wish and let her go for higher education but now parents always remain in anxiety to get the money arranged for the marriage. Most of the time due to lack of money for dowry, it ends up in having unsuitable partner for the daughter and this brings sense of guilt to parents.
In some cases daughter’s love make father go to any extent to arrange money for the dowry so that his daughter can have good qualified life partner for the rest of her life. They may sell their lands and can keep their home on mortgage and this makes their rest of life economically liable to someone.
In economically poor family, the terror of dowry leads to sex identification of foetus and then to abortion. The sex identification through ultrasound is illegal in our country but in small cities and towns, the identification of sex in pregnancy is not a hard job. If you want to know from the main doctor, you have to pay more otherwise just keep some money in the hands of doctor’s assistant, who takes care of ultrasound during the pregnancy check, and they will tell verbally. From the context of Indian society there are many reasons for abortion and dislike towards the girl child but there is no doubt that existing dowry system is a predominant one.
In most of the poor and middle class families, only the boys are given preference to get the education from a good school and college and not the girls. If you go and ask the reason they will say if girl is educated then they cannot get an educated partner for her marriage as they are poor. The daughter listens and bears for being a girl. She can’t fly and can’t dream like her brother. She only restricts herself in cooking, painting, and tailoring or any other household decoration things so that at least her parents can boast of these things and can get some what good life partner for her.
The existence of dowry makes people corrupt. Most of the time the cash paid as a dowry is generally through corrupt route and the money disappears without having any legal documents or without the knowledge of income tax office.
In the schooldays everyone would have written notes on the topic of Dowry. At that time everyone keeps the feeling of hatred against the dowry. But once grown up and time for action comes then forget what they have written. Even the parents do not give any lecture to their kids on dowry because they cannot present themselves as role model to their kids in the fight against the dowry. Even mothers demand dowry for their son. She forgets how her father has struggled to arrange the money to get her married through dowry. It seems no one is sensitive towards others. Everyone thinks about themselves and for that instant only. Everyone one says that when the actual time comes, one must be practical instead of becoming emotional and sensitive towards others.
I really can’t think of effective solutions to bring down the dowry from our society. In the current system of education, more educated and qualified means eligible for more dowries and so no hope from literate section. The existing law against the dowry is openly violated with the mutual consents. The law is brought in use only when the marriage is not successful even after the dowry.
